Stopping an Unwanted Divorce With These Three, Easy Tips

Is it possible to stop divorce with some quick tips you read in a marriage article? Not really; however, it will give you some ideas on how to take proactive steps to keep your marriage from heading toward divorce. In order to help you think about how to do this, we have compiled these three easy tips for your benefit.

1. Be Still

Instead of making the situation worse by using large gestures and persuasive arguments, take a step back and let the situation die down for a little while. Many times when you are trying to rail against something with everything you have, you become more intense and so does your partner. This causes your spouse to become more resistant to what you are saying, making them believe that their way of thinking is the right way. Of course, you should make your thoughts and feelings known to your partner; you just need to find a way to be calm and rational when you do. If there is nothing to fight against, there is no fight at all. It is time to let cool, calculated rationales take charge for a while. Even though it might not solve the problem at hand, it usually will help you and your partner face your situation rationally.

Communication is the key to any happy, healthy relationship. And, effective communication can only occur when everybody keeps a level head. Being surrounded by fighting and arguing is the quickest way to cut the lines of communication.

2. Make yourself seem attractive to your spouse.

Have you ever heard this saying: if you want to find love, make yourself become more loveable? There must have been something interesting and exciting your spouse found in you; otherwise, the both of you would never have entered into a relationship together. So, what has changed now? Do you take each other for granted? If so, start getting back to the basics of you. Being trapped in a continuous argument is certainly unattractive.

Facing feelings of indifference is a big turnoff in a relationship. It can even make your partner feel worse than when you constantly nag and complain about every little thing. Your spouse is a human being who has thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Can you really say you have been doing your best to meet your spouse's needs? Or, have you been a tad too self-centered, always putting yourself first?

And, presenting yourself with dignity and some class will certainly not hurt either. If you want to open the lines of communication, treat your partner with some respect. If you don't, you will be in for a hard road ahead. You must always remember that the only person you have control over is yourself, so work on your own issues first.

3. Be more pleasing.

This does not mean becoming a "robot" who agrees with everything their partner says. It does not mean you have to become devoid of emotion. It just means that you need to learn when it is best to keep your peace and accept your partner's viewpoint. When you constantly debate and shoot down every thought and opinion your spouse has, he or she will begin to think that you don't care about them as an individual or respect the fact that they are entitled to a different opinion. Do not think that you can never disagree; you can, as long as you do not come across as a nag.

Groucho Marx used to sing a song called, "Whatever It Is, I'm Against It." This is unfortunately a common theme in many relationships. Too often the first words that come out of someone's mouth in a relationship are disagreeable. Do not let this be you; if you feel you cannot agree to your spouse's opinion, make a commitment to stay calm and rational. Think of it as the French do, and "viva la difference." In other words, celebrate your differences and appreciate your partner for the unique individual he or she is.

Hopefully, this article has provided you with some ideas on how to solve your marital problems. One last thing I would like to share with you is a priceless life lesson my mentor once told me: "feelings are just feelings, thoughts are just thoughts, but nothing will ever happen unless you take action." I truly wish that this article planted a seed of future positive action.